Time to snap into action

HEARTBREAK, confusion, regret, unease and all kinds of mixed-up feelings have been plaguing me. My question is: What is this thing called chemistry, or fondness for someone at first sight?
I cannot seem to forget him and can’t wait to see or just feel his presence. I don’t feel right if I don’t see him, yet I can’t sit tight if he’s near. I look away when he looks my way; I can’t make eye contact because my heart just beats too fast.
It has been over a year. He’s there in front of me but I can’t go anywhere near him. I like everything about this guy yet I don’t know a thing about him. It’s not that I haven’t tried to communicate; but I failed. I’m not sure whether it was the way I asked or he just wasn’t keen to talk. After that, I never had the guts to try again.
Every evening I just sit in a corner and watch him play ball and capture some of his moves on camera. Well, if I can’t get up close and personal, I can at least “keep” him in my memory.
I know that a person can seem perfect from far away, but his flaws will show once you get to know him. I want to get to know him better, as a friend, if not more. But I’m more ready to face failure than take my chances.
I’ll be looking for another job soon and I’ll leave with a heavy heart, knowing that I will lose something unless I try. Why is this happening?

Help!

MAYBE your furtive looks and intense gazes have left this guy bewildered and unsure. Catching him on camera secretly, and watching him from the same spot every day from a corner sound disconcerting and emotionally warped.
If you want to know a guy better, you should be more open and communicative. You have been watching this fellow for over a year, yet you are afraid to do nothing more than dream and ponder in silence. You have painted this perfect picture of him in your heart and fear that he is flawed should you get to know him better. This is quite unreal.
You want to quit your job and run from failure, yet you think that perhaps you might win the guy if you dared. Sad to say, you seem afraid to live your life fully, with courage and hope. You talk yourself out of positive action and mope in hopelessness and woe. You seem to enjoy living with dark thoughts and secret feelings.
Snap out of this mindset of self-pity and depression. You have to live life, not write about it and be melodramatic. If you like a guy, talk to him and ask him for coffee or a movie. Learn to interact, dress up and make the best of what you are. Be confident and less timid. Don’t wrap yourself within negative thoughts. Live with zest and joy.