Blinded by love
I’M 29 years old, and a foreign worker here in Malaysia. I’m married, and my husband is back home taking care of my son. I come from a very poor family, which is why I’m slogging it out in a foreign country – to earn enough money so that my child will not suffer the same fate.
Before I left my country two years ago, I repeatedly reminded my husband that I was going to work abroad for our future together. “Take care of our son while I’m far away. This is for you and for our children someday, for I love you so much.”
But it appears that those words do not mean anything to him. I send money home monthly, but all I’m hearing are negative things about him – being boastful, spending money indiscriminately.
I was lonely and frustrated. Then I met a guy. At first, I didn’t want a relationship as he reminded me too much of my husband, and I have a family after all. But he persisted, telling me he was single. We started exchanging SMS-es. Each SMS was a seed falling on fertile ground, and romance blossomed. Every time I took time off work, we checked into a hotel room.
Three months later, he confessed that he is 20 years my senior, married with four children, and his wife is bedridden. I wanted to kill myself at that time as I didn’t want to be anyone’s mistress. My conscience was strangling me.
But he said he lied to me because he wanted me to like him. He says that he loves me.
I accept that, and I forgive him, but I’m drowning.
I know my actions are sinful. But I really love him, and I can only wait until time separates us for this to end.
For the people who are hurt by our actions, I would like to take this opportunity to ask for forgiveness. I’m only human.
But I feel like a blind person, with no light at the end of the tunnel. Please help me find the light.
Mulan
You are a lonely woman seeking love and solace because your husband has spent your money and betrayed your trust. Now, you are with a man you believe you love. But he is a liar, a married man with a wife and children. Do you really want to continue an affair that will likely only bring you heartache and pain?
You have left your husband, children and loved ones to work for a better life. Should your employer discover your affair, would they not send you back? What would your husband do then? Could he forgive you for your infidelity? Be warned that you may lose everything that you are working so hard to keep.
You can pray for forgiveness but you must not hide from truth and reality. You know that you are being used for a man’s sexual pleasure and yet you cannot deny him or yourself. You blame your husband but you can plan better and send your money to someone you can trust.
Do not try to make excuses for your behaviour. You are a woman with needs. It’s all too easy to succumb to attention and flattery when you are sad and lonely. But if you have the strength and will, you can forget this married man and concentrate on the purpose you are here in Malaysia.
Save your money for your children and your future. Resolve the issues with your husband when you are back home. Do not continue the affair as stolen love usually spells doom.
Before I left my country two years ago, I repeatedly reminded my husband that I was going to work abroad for our future together. “Take care of our son while I’m far away. This is for you and for our children someday, for I love you so much.”
But it appears that those words do not mean anything to him. I send money home monthly, but all I’m hearing are negative things about him – being boastful, spending money indiscriminately.
I was lonely and frustrated. Then I met a guy. At first, I didn’t want a relationship as he reminded me too much of my husband, and I have a family after all. But he persisted, telling me he was single. We started exchanging SMS-es. Each SMS was a seed falling on fertile ground, and romance blossomed. Every time I took time off work, we checked into a hotel room.
Three months later, he confessed that he is 20 years my senior, married with four children, and his wife is bedridden. I wanted to kill myself at that time as I didn’t want to be anyone’s mistress. My conscience was strangling me.
But he said he lied to me because he wanted me to like him. He says that he loves me.
I accept that, and I forgive him, but I’m drowning.
I know my actions are sinful. But I really love him, and I can only wait until time separates us for this to end.
For the people who are hurt by our actions, I would like to take this opportunity to ask for forgiveness. I’m only human.
But I feel like a blind person, with no light at the end of the tunnel. Please help me find the light.
Mulan
You are a lonely woman seeking love and solace because your husband has spent your money and betrayed your trust. Now, you are with a man you believe you love. But he is a liar, a married man with a wife and children. Do you really want to continue an affair that will likely only bring you heartache and pain?
You have left your husband, children and loved ones to work for a better life. Should your employer discover your affair, would they not send you back? What would your husband do then? Could he forgive you for your infidelity? Be warned that you may lose everything that you are working so hard to keep.
You can pray for forgiveness but you must not hide from truth and reality. You know that you are being used for a man’s sexual pleasure and yet you cannot deny him or yourself. You blame your husband but you can plan better and send your money to someone you can trust.
Do not try to make excuses for your behaviour. You are a woman with needs. It’s all too easy to succumb to attention and flattery when you are sad and lonely. But if you have the strength and will, you can forget this married man and concentrate on the purpose you are here in Malaysia.
Save your money for your children and your future. Resolve the issues with your husband when you are back home. Do not continue the affair as stolen love usually spells doom.
<< Home