Time to let him be

I’M in my early 30s. A few years back, I had a boyfriend, V. We were perfect for each other. But after almost two years, V told his parents about his sexuality. They were furious and forced him to stop seeing me.
We were both badly hurt by this and it took me over a year to get over my depression. I started dating again, both men and women, in the hope that I could be a heterosexual. But all I’ve had is disappointment.
This past week I’ve been having dreams about V. We have not spoken to each other since we separated, three years ago this weekend. I do see him driving home occasionally as we live near each other and I’m sure he sees me, too. I know he is not married and I’m sure he is unhappy as well.
I still have feelings for him. I don’t know if we can be partners again, but I wish we could be friends.
I don’t know if V is scared to talk to me because he hurt me when he left. Maybe he thinks I am angry with him for that. Truth is,
I love him despite what happened.
Why am I having all these dreams about him now? Should I take the initiative to contact him again? Should I fight for V and get him to realise that I still love him, and that his parents were wrong?
Desperately Seeking Val

YOU think about him and dream of him because you are lonely. You have been disappointed in your other relationships. You wish so much for a love of your life, just like before.
Sadly, the relationship has been over for three years. Although he is still single and seemingly unhappy, he remains distant and elusive. You want to believe that he still cares but is afraid to come close. You hope to fight for his love and change his mind. You want to pursue your dreams and reopen this painful yet memorable chapter of your past.
But don’t hope too much because you do not know his heart or thoughts. His decision to break up could not have been easy. He must have done much soul-searching before sacrificing this relationship with you. Homosexuality is never a smooth path for most. Parents, friends, relatives and society find it difficult to accept that two guys can fall in love, make love and live together as partners.
Many good sons and filial daughters have given up gay relationships out of respect and love for their parents. They try so hard to be straight and normal. In the process, they retreat from living and become miserable and angry. Rage mocks them for being different.
You could not find love and happiness when you tried to be heterosexual. How difficult it must have been for you to suppress your feelings and needs. V, too, must have found life unfulfilling and repressive when he had to give you up. But it was his choice, his decision. You have to respect this and get on with your own life.