Innocent victim
I DIVORCED my wife in 2004, when I was 32, because she wanted to control my life, was stubborn and demanding, and would only listen to a third party that had caused our marriage to break down.
My wife ran away from my house four years ago, taking our daughter with her. At that time, I was living with my mother and she said she would only return if I got mum out.
My daughter is now four. The court gave custody to my ex and I was allowed three days of access on weekends. The first time I went to get my child at the given address, the house-owner (the third party) said my ex hadn’t said anything about handing over my child. I saw my kid playing behind the house and called to her. She ran towards me but the owner’s wife grabbed her while his son stopped me in my tracks.
In her affidavit, my ex claimed that I am an irresponsible father because I have not visited my daughter. Subsequently, she was supposed to turn up for a hearing, but didn’t. A warrant of arrest was issued but I really don’t know where my ex is now.
No doubt, it will be difficult to get my daughter back. But my belief that, by the grace of God, I will see again, keeps me going.
I wonder whether she has forgotten me, since we haven’t met in four years. I hope the court can review the monthly maintenance of RM600 that I’m required to pay my ex and child – I find it not worth giving that.
After what I’ve been through, I’m thinking of not marrying again. I would like to advise couples: Don’t ever let a third party get involved in whatever you do.
Missing my daughter
WHERE do you send the monthly cheques? If your ex has disappeared with your child, how does she access the money? There must be ways to trace a woman who is dependent on you to support her child.
You have suffered an acrimonious divorce. Things can only get worse with the issue of a warrant of arrest. But you should not be thinking only of yourself and your loss, and your ex’s faults. If you love your child, think of her having to cope with the tug-of-war between her parents. And she is not even worth RM600 of child support a month?
Your ex is wrong to keep your child away from you, but she cannot be having a good time. Running from you and the law must be extremely stressful and punishing.
Frankly, you should stop the relentless pursuit and try to resolve the problems with your ex amicably. Do this for your daughter, who needs a happy home, and should not be on the run from her father. Be civil when you are all together because the past must be put to rest. You have divorced her mother, but the child should not have to suffer the consequences.
Marry again and have children of your own. A bad marriage does not spell doom for your future relationships. You are in your prime and should be able to share your life with a soft, understanding woman. But take care to listen to a woman’s needs or there will be problems should you have to choose between mother and wife again.
My wife ran away from my house four years ago, taking our daughter with her. At that time, I was living with my mother and she said she would only return if I got mum out.
My daughter is now four. The court gave custody to my ex and I was allowed three days of access on weekends. The first time I went to get my child at the given address, the house-owner (the third party) said my ex hadn’t said anything about handing over my child. I saw my kid playing behind the house and called to her. She ran towards me but the owner’s wife grabbed her while his son stopped me in my tracks.
In her affidavit, my ex claimed that I am an irresponsible father because I have not visited my daughter. Subsequently, she was supposed to turn up for a hearing, but didn’t. A warrant of arrest was issued but I really don’t know where my ex is now.
No doubt, it will be difficult to get my daughter back. But my belief that, by the grace of God, I will see again, keeps me going.
I wonder whether she has forgotten me, since we haven’t met in four years. I hope the court can review the monthly maintenance of RM600 that I’m required to pay my ex and child – I find it not worth giving that.
After what I’ve been through, I’m thinking of not marrying again. I would like to advise couples: Don’t ever let a third party get involved in whatever you do.
Missing my daughter
WHERE do you send the monthly cheques? If your ex has disappeared with your child, how does she access the money? There must be ways to trace a woman who is dependent on you to support her child.
You have suffered an acrimonious divorce. Things can only get worse with the issue of a warrant of arrest. But you should not be thinking only of yourself and your loss, and your ex’s faults. If you love your child, think of her having to cope with the tug-of-war between her parents. And she is not even worth RM600 of child support a month?
Your ex is wrong to keep your child away from you, but she cannot be having a good time. Running from you and the law must be extremely stressful and punishing.
Frankly, you should stop the relentless pursuit and try to resolve the problems with your ex amicably. Do this for your daughter, who needs a happy home, and should not be on the run from her father. Be civil when you are all together because the past must be put to rest. You have divorced her mother, but the child should not have to suffer the consequences.
Marry again and have children of your own. A bad marriage does not spell doom for your future relationships. You are in your prime and should be able to share your life with a soft, understanding woman. But take care to listen to a woman’s needs or there will be problems should you have to choose between mother and wife again.
<< Home