Time to let it out
I WAS an easy-going person until I started admiring R three months ago. She is a year older than me, and smart, popular and pretty – which I’m not. But my friends say she is boastful and arrogant. Maybe that’s why many of the students in my school hate her.
Every time I see her, my heart beats faster and I become nervous. My friends have noticed this. R does not know I like her, but she has caught me looking at her. I just can’t control myself. I did very badly in my exams last term because I couldn’t concentrate on my studies.
R has told my friend that she hates lesbians – people like me. I started crying when I heard that. I dreamt about her during the holidays and planned to talk to her when school reopened. But I haven’t because she is always with her pals.
Now our schoolmates know I like R and the gossip has spread. My friends have told me to forget her and concentrate on my studies but I can’t. Please don’t tell me to mix with boys and get to know them because my father doesn’t allow me to do so.
I don’t know if I’m in love with R, or that I just admire her. How can I start a conversation with her?
Confused Gal
YOU are not a lesbian just because you have intense feelings for someone of the same sex. Many teenagers go through the same emotional angst and sexual confusion because of raging hormones and, sometimes, mental repression.
You are not allowed to mix with guys. But when your mind and body are sexually aware, you need to channel such feelings on to someone. It probably happens that you like this girl and feel especially drawn to her. She is everything you admire and has the qualities you believe you lack.
Don’t get too caught up in your confusion or you will go round and round wondering if you’re gay or straight. Try to get to know her instead of gaping from afar. Avoiding her and ignoring your feelings will not help.
She is just a normal teenager, like you. Do not be afraid to have a friendly chat. Talk to her friends if you can’t start a conversation with her. Have more confidence in yourself and you will not be tongue-tied and intimidated. Take pride in yourself and you will not feel so inferior.
Being a teenager is tough. You can’t even seem to understand yourself, let alone your feelings. Your body and emotions are changing and you feel so intense and aware. You are at a loss when it comes to overwhelming emotions.
When you have a strict parent, it is important not to bury your emotional needs beneath rules and expectations. Learn to communicate; talk to your mother if you are afraid of your father. Don’t repress your feelings or you will find yourself striking out on the wrong path due to pressure. Know yourself, too, or you will find it difficult to grow out of the maze you feel trapped in.
Every time I see her, my heart beats faster and I become nervous. My friends have noticed this. R does not know I like her, but she has caught me looking at her. I just can’t control myself. I did very badly in my exams last term because I couldn’t concentrate on my studies.
R has told my friend that she hates lesbians – people like me. I started crying when I heard that. I dreamt about her during the holidays and planned to talk to her when school reopened. But I haven’t because she is always with her pals.
Now our schoolmates know I like R and the gossip has spread. My friends have told me to forget her and concentrate on my studies but I can’t. Please don’t tell me to mix with boys and get to know them because my father doesn’t allow me to do so.
I don’t know if I’m in love with R, or that I just admire her. How can I start a conversation with her?
Confused Gal
YOU are not a lesbian just because you have intense feelings for someone of the same sex. Many teenagers go through the same emotional angst and sexual confusion because of raging hormones and, sometimes, mental repression.
You are not allowed to mix with guys. But when your mind and body are sexually aware, you need to channel such feelings on to someone. It probably happens that you like this girl and feel especially drawn to her. She is everything you admire and has the qualities you believe you lack.
Don’t get too caught up in your confusion or you will go round and round wondering if you’re gay or straight. Try to get to know her instead of gaping from afar. Avoiding her and ignoring your feelings will not help.
She is just a normal teenager, like you. Do not be afraid to have a friendly chat. Talk to her friends if you can’t start a conversation with her. Have more confidence in yourself and you will not be tongue-tied and intimidated. Take pride in yourself and you will not feel so inferior.
Being a teenager is tough. You can’t even seem to understand yourself, let alone your feelings. Your body and emotions are changing and you feel so intense and aware. You are at a loss when it comes to overwhelming emotions.
When you have a strict parent, it is important not to bury your emotional needs beneath rules and expectations. Learn to communicate; talk to your mother if you are afraid of your father. Don’t repress your feelings or you will find yourself striking out on the wrong path due to pressure. Know yourself, too, or you will find it difficult to grow out of the maze you feel trapped in.
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